02.
Your weather. Your rivals.
Hyper-local forecasts delivered with a dry, British, unimpressed jab at whichever club you love to hate.
03.
Matchday command centre.
On matchday, the app splits: your weather plus the stadium's kickoff forecast, side by side. The banter locks onto whoever you're playing.
04.
Live full-time reactions.
The final whistle blows. Within sixty seconds, Row Z delivers the verdict. Morning-after banter the next day, whether you want it or not.
05.
Home screen widgets.
A pointed opinion about your rivals, every time you check your phone. That's the point.